I always felt like an outsider.
Like there was something wrong with who I was.
Like I needed to change or pretend to be someone else just to feel accepted.
Since I was young, I remember being so afraid that at any moment someone would see through my facade and realize that I really was just this boring, worthless, ugly girl who had no business thinking she was talented or pretty or smart.
As a result, I know what it's like to use humor to mask pain, to use food to hide shame, and to unknowingly use excess body weight to disguise who you truly are.
I can relate to the person who is given a compliment and doesn't believe it because until recently, I didn’t believe it for myself.
After years of struggling with my weight, I made the really difficult decision to tackle my obesity head on and my life has not been the same since! When I finally committed to my health, I lost 30 lbs and over 15 inches in 90 days!
Great, right?! I was just sure that losing that weight would prove that I wasn’t an outsider anymore!
WRONG! The problem was, when those pounds were shed, the doubts and fears they were covering surfaced.
“Who do you think you are?”
“Losing weight doesn’t fix being boring and dumb.”
“What makes you think your story is worth sharing?”
This time, those things being said came from me. From my own head.
That’s when it dawned on me...the number on the scale wasn’t my problem. Changing my dress size wasn’t going to magically eliminate my years of self doubt.
I was tired. Tired of pretending. Tired of beating myself up. Tired of constantly thinking I wasn’t good enough.
I just wanted to FEEL better! To LOOK better! To ACT better! To BE better!
For the first time in my life, I realized that if I truly wanted something different, I had be willing to dig in. To REALLY step up with courage and compassion for myself and challenge my way of thinking.
My personal journey has revealed to me the importance of our mental and emotional state when it comes to eating and metabolism.
Day by day, I work through my own struggles with food, body image and mindset. As I learn, I use my own journey to serve others in a way that makes a real, lasting difference in their lives.
I know my story is far from finished.
I believe that every person, regardless of past missteps, deserves the chance to create an amazing life.
I feel like I'm just beginning to uncover what I am capable of.
I never imagined that I would have a story powerful enough to inspire others to take action in their own lives. A story that serves who I am working every day to become.
Little did I know that story was just waiting for me to create it so I could help others do the same!